I was once told by my father to learn how to do things so I do not have to always apologise. I had no much understanding of what that meant as I keep seeing myself having to apologise every now and then. One may ask, how can that be possible? In practice, this may not be possible but we can all lead a lifestyle that is not filled with regrets, bitterness and low self-esteem by eliminating most of our unwanted habits.
When we constantly apologise, we repeatedly tell our subconscious how many unwanted habits we have and because the subconscious does not differentiate between real and imagined facts, it accepts that our life is full of mistakes and errors due to these unwanted habits so it keeps projecting them to us.
To correct this autosuggestion from our subconscious, we need to consciously tell our subconscious what we want and when we have done that consistently enough, our subconscious will give up the belief that we are filled with errors and start projecting confidence, self-esteem, and pride in our new self which we have now suggested it does.
To make this process right,
1. ACCEPT YOURSELF
You may not be the kind of person you want but until you accept who and how you are now, the new you can’t emerge. Accepting yourself entails you recognising that you are not at your best. That this you have many things the real you wants to eliminate. Though this is usually not any fault of yours but you must accept that becoming the best you is your responsibility. It entails you believing that you are capable of becoming your best. That the real you is possible and that the real you is not this present.
Until you take full responsibility of you, you are not in control. To be in control starts with believing in your possible you. You see, all that you are right now is the programme of your past. You were programmed by those you spent most of your childhood with. You were programmed by the society where you grew up. You were programme by some of your personal experiences. These basic programmes formed your current realities which in itself reinforces the old you.
2. IDENTIFY THE CAUSE OF THE PRESENT YOU.
Whatever you heard or saw repeatedly soon became part of you. If you can count how many times you saw it, then it became part of you because you were very emotional when you saw or heard them. This is because experience laden with emotions have greater impact on the subconscious.
Take for example, how often do you yell at either your spouse or children or some other things you really wished you stopped doing? Now, try to remember how many times you were yelled at as a child if yours was yelling. If you can count how many times, and you now yell, it’s simply because you really got angry, sad or bitter each time you were yelled. If you can’t count, it s because your subconscious accepted it as normal because it was repeatedly fed with it. This was how most other of our habits (if not all) both the good and the bad were formed.
3. RESOLVE TO CREATE A NEW YOU.
The good news is, it’s within our power to control and eliminate any of these unwanted habits the same way we got them by repeatedly and consciously rejecting them each time we indulge them. I do not mean condemning ourselves but with hope and faith repeatedly denounce these habits until our subconscious accepts that those habits are no more wanted.
Apparently, you did not consciously learn those habits because your subconscious does not need to be told to learn before it can learn. However, you need to consciously unlearn those habits.
You see, our subconscious is like the soil. Unwanted habits are like the weeds; no effort is needed for them to grow. But our cherished habits are like the crops, we must make the soil good, plant, water and keep weeding the farmland before we have a good harvest.
There is no overnight process to eliminating our unwanted habits. Similarly, there is no promise that we can eliminate all our unwanted habits but the fewer they are, the better us we have created. Otherwise, we have become perfect and not fit to remain on this imperfect earth.